The Mom-ster Magic: Navigating the Menopause Maze as a Teen
Guys, you know… my sweet, loving, always-there-for-me mom has turned into… um, let’s call her The Storm Queen. I swear I’m not exaggerating. One day, she’s raining emotions; the next, she’s a blazing fire; occasionally, she’s just a quiet, cloudy sky. It hit me this morning when I realised that my mom has been going through something huge, and I’ve been totally clueless.
At first, I was confused—actually, scratch that—I was overwhelmed. At first, I thought, What’s going on with her? But honestly, my reaction wasn’t great. If she snapped at me, I snapped back. If she got upset, I’d distance myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her—it was just hard.
Since I was a kid, I’ve seen my parents as this perfect, unshakable team. They were that cliched couple who completed each other’s sentences (or, in my parent’s case, did each other’s work). But suddenly, I started noticing cracks in their dynamic. Tiny arguments became a little more serious. There was tension where there used to be tenderness. It was like they were falling out of love—and honestly, it was scary.
And then, it hit me: My mom wasn’t changing because she wanted to. She was changing because her body and her mind were forcing her to. She was stepping into a new phase of life—one where her hormones were wreaking havoc, her emotions were louder than her logic, and her sense of self was being questioned daily. She was approaching menopause, and it was reshaping her from the inside out.
A Decision to Understand
The moment I understood that, I also realised how unfair we’d been—not just me, but my dad too. We expected her to be the same person she’d always been without acknowledging what she was going through.
So, I made a decision. Instead of reacting to her emotions, I would try to understand them. It wasn’t easy—it still isn’t. But here’s what I’ve learned along the way:
Be Her Buffer, Not Her Battleground
Mom’s already got a lot on her plate; she’s fighting with her emotions, her hormones, and the physical changes that she’s going through. I don’t need to add a problem to her already full plate, right? And more importantly, I try not to take her emotions personally. Easier said than done, I know. But it's easier to stay calm when I remind myself that it’s not about me; it’s about what she’s feeling. So now, if she’s upset, I take a breath before responding. Instead of snapping, I say, “Mom, I understand you’re frustrated. What can I do to help?” It’s a slight shift, but trust me, it changes the vibe.
Notice the Little Things
Sometimes, she doesn’t even say she’s upset, but I can see it—when she isn’t her usual cheerful, wise self. That’s when I know it’s my time to step in by cooking something she loves or taking her to the gym. I know what my responsibility is.
Pitch In Without Being Asked
Mom’s juggling so much—household stuff, work, emotions, and this hormonal chaos. So, I’ve started looking for small ways to lighten her load. The first thing is that I need to be independent. I’ve promised myself that I’m the last thing my mom needs to be worried about. She needs to look after herself—not her 18-year-old baby now.
Be a Bridge Between Her and Dad
Here’s the thing: My dad’s trying too, but sometimes he doesn’t get it. Menopause isn’t exactly on their radar. So, when I notice Mom’s upset and Dad hasn’t caught on, I give him a nudge. (both literal and metaphorical). It’s like being a tiny therapist for their relationship. They’ve done a lot for me, and this is just a small show of affection from my side.
Learn About Menopause Together
Along with googling (or ChatGPT-ing) stuff, I started asking my mom directly, “What’s been the hardest part for you?” or “Is there anything I can do differently?” This opened up conversations we’d never had before. I also shared what I’ve learned, which helped her feel understood and helped us understand and work with her.
Celebrate With Her
Menopause is tough, but it’s not all bad. There are moments when my mom still laughs like a kid, dances with us, and enjoys watching Disney movies. I’ve started noticing and enjoying these moments with her.
Make Time Just for Her
Sometimes, all she needs is a reminder that she’s more than just “Mom.” I’ve started discussing things with her that excite her, whether it be psychology, history, management, or mythology. As a child, my mom was there for me. When I wanted to learn something new, she would read that book with me. Now, it’s my turn to do it—plain and simple.
Be Patient with Yourself
Honestly, I don’t always get it right. There are days I still lose my temper or feel like I can’t handle her mood swings. And that’s okay. I remind myself that this is a learning curve—for both of us.
The more I try, the more I realise that this phase isn’t just about her—it’s about us. My mom has spent her entire life being the steady one, the strong one. Now, it’s my turn to show up for her. To remind her that she’s not alone. To help her see that this isn’t the end of her story—it’s just the beginning of a new chapter.
And when we come out of this storm—because we will—she’ll know I wasn’t just her child. I was her anchor too.
