Fatherhood 101: From Wrestling Boys to Raising Queens
While fathers are making consistent efforts to be part of their children’s lives, they often find themselves putting in double the effort—because they’re swimming against the current. They’re making a firm stand, sometimes even fighting, just to be allowed to be a dad, to be an integral part of their teen’s life.
But let’s face it—the world doesn’t seem to make it easy. Society would rather have fathers stay late at work, “earning” for their kids, than see them spending quality time with their teens, teaching them love, joy, and how to truly thrive in life.
Now, this isn’t about downplaying a mother’s role in raising children. Moms are irreplaceable. But dads? Dads have unique and equally significant roles when it comes to raising both boys and girls.
Fathering Boys:
-When they’re young: Boys need you as an active part of their lives. They crave your love expressed through play, cuddles, conversations, and even lessons. For a 4-year-old boy, dad’s love = play wrestling.
-As they grow: During the teenage years, that same boy might act like he doesn’t need you anymore. But trust me—he does. This is a critical phase when your presence matters most. He doesn’t want you to judge his every move; he needs you to walk alongside him, offering support and guidance.
-Teaching respect: Boys learn how to treat women by watching you. When they see you treating their mother with warmth—complimenting her, flirting with her, exchanging a hug or a kiss—they learn that women deserve respect, not abuse. They understand that being a real man means being in charge of one’s behavior and emotions.
Fathering Girls:
-When they’re little: As a toddler, your daughter needs you to make her life fun. Whether it’s during bath time, nappy changes, or even feeding, your playful involvement makes a lasting impact. A girl raised with a sense of fun grows up confident, creative, and vibrant, ready to bring out-of-the-box thinking into every stage of her life.
-As she grows up: Friendships can be complex and emotional. During those tear-filled moments, your daughter needs you to be her anchor. She needs a shoulder to cry on and a dad who will ask the simple, healing question: “What went wrong, honey?”
-In her teenage years: As she matures into a young woman, you become her ambassador to the male species. Your actions set the tone for what she will expect from men in her life. Treat women with kindness, respect, and courtesy, and you’ll set a high standard for her to follow. This will help her resist manipulation, stay confident, and refuse to settle for less than she deserves.
So, do yourself (and your child) a favour—spend time with them, understand their needs, and show them what unconditional love and support look like.
A Message to Dads:
I know you’re already doing a great job. You’re fighting societal norms and your own conditioning to be an active part of your child’s life. Please know this—your efforts will not go in vain.
You are the steady hand behind your child, guiding them, keeping them on track, and—most importantly—reminding them of their worth.
Picture this: You hold a sword in your hand. You have two choices. You can either cut your child down with criticism, or you can gently place the sword on their shoulder and say, “Arise. I believe in you.”
We need you, dad. We need you to be there for us.
