Parenting Teens: Why Waiting for a Miracle Is a Recipe for Chaos

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 A couple of days ago, a really desperate mom called me and asked me to help her daughter.

Her daughter, now in grade 12 at a reputed school, has confined herself to screens. She only comes out of her room to grab food. At first, the problem didn’t seem like much, but she’s been skipping school entirely for the past few months. She spends all her time glued to her gadgets—no friends, no hobbies, and no family interactions. The mom even said there’s zero communication between the teen and the parents.
I was surprised at the extent of the challenges they were facing.
While talking to me, the mother said, “Mitra, I can’t help but think about where I went wrong.”

 

Why Do Parents Wait Until It’s Too Late?

Many parents think it’s just a phase. They hope their teen will “snap out of it.”
By the time they realise something’s seriously wrong, the “phase” has spiralled into something much bigger. And now, they feel utterly helpless.
Honestly, parenting teens in today’s world is hard. And while teens may not come with an instruction manual, one thing is clear: waiting for problems to fix themselves rarely works.

 

It’s Okay to Ask for Help Early On

Think about it. If your car started making a weird noise, would you wait until the engine broke down before taking it to the mechanic?
Raising teens is no different. When you notice something’s off—however tiny it might seem—it’s time to act. Seek advice or read up. The sooner you step in, the easier it is to steer things back on track.

 

Freedom vs. Guidance

Giving teens freedom is important. They need room to explore, make mistakes, and grow. But freedom without guidance is a recipe for disaster.
Giving freedom to teens is like giving a monkey opioids and expecting them to use them “responsibly.” They’re simply not wired for that yet. Their brains are still figuring out how to handle emotions, impulses, and priorities.

Educate Yourself for Your Teen’s Sake

Parenting isn’t just about providing food, shelter, and love (though those are vital). It’s also about equipping yourself to handle the challenges your teen will face. Read books, attend workshops, and talk to professionals.
Understand what teens today are dealing with—a world completely different from the one you grew up in. Discover how to spot warning signs before they become full-blown problems.

 

Be the Parent They Need

Your teen doesn’t need you to be perfect. They don’t need you to have all the answers. What they need is your time, your attention, and your willingness to step in before things go too far.
They need good mentors. They need role models. They need arranged friendships (not in the old-fashioned matchmaking sense, but in a way that helps them connect with people who inspire and uplift them).
Most importantly, they need you—as someone who shows them what’s possible, holds their hand when things get tough, and nudges them back on track when they wander off.
So, to all the parents: Don’t wait until the noise becomes unbearable. Listen early. Act early. Your teen will thank you for it one day.





 

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