From Love to Entitlement: When Pampering Creates a Monster

The other day, I saw a girl upset with her parents on her birthday. She frowned and said, “This isn’t what I wanted. Why didn’t you do it my way?” 

Another time, a boy won a national championship. Instead of celebrating the win, he went straight to his parents and asked, “So, what are you buying me for this?”  

Then, a teen handed her parents a list of birthday demands ranging from the latest iPhone to designer sneakers. She didn’t ask; she handed it over like an invoice.  

And there was a boy who genuinely believed everyone around him should consider him their leader because, in his words, he was the “handsomest of all.”  

I couldn’t help but wonder: How did we get here?  

 

When Did Gratitude Turn into Entitlement?  

It’s heartwarming to see parents go out of their way to make their child’s dreams come true. But what happens when those dreams start to feel less like dreams and more like demands?  

The shift is so gradual that no one notices it at first. A small reward for good grades turns into an expectation for a bigger one next time. A thoughtful birthday gift turns into a checklist of luxury items. And before you know it, gratitude is replaced by entitlement.  

What’s more concerning is the effect on the teen’s mindset. They start to believe that the world owes them and that their wants are everyone else’s responsibility.  

 

Why Do Parents Overindulge?  

I’ve spoken to countless parents, and their reasons are always heartfelt.  

Some parents say they want to give their teens everything they couldn’t have growing up. “I don’t want my child to feel the lack I felt,” one mother told me. Others feel guilty about not spending enough time with their teens due to busy schedules, so they make up for it with gifts and indulgences.  

And let’s face it, there’s an undeniable pressure to keep up. If someone else’s child is flaunting a new gadget or vacationing in the Maldives, parents feel compelled to match that.  

 

But When Does Love Cross the Line?  

Here’s the tricky part: What starts as love often turns into overindulgence. And overindulgence, over time, turns into entitlement.  

Think about it: If a teen grows up getting everything they ask for—no questions asked—how will they ever learn the value of hard work? If they’re constantly made to feel like the center of the universe, how will they ever learn to empathize with others?  

 

Building Balanced Teens  

It’s not about depriving your teen of joy or experiences. It’s about striking the right balance.  

Love your teens fiercely. Support their dreams. Celebrate their wins. But also teach them the value of gratitude. Show them that privileges come with responsibilities. Let them earn some of the things they want. And most importantly, remind them that the world doesn’t revolve around them.  

 

The Bigger Picture  

This generation of teens is getting more entitled—or at least leaning towards a bit of narcissism. They walk around feeling like they’re on top of the world, not because they’ve climbed to the top, but because someone handed them a pedestal.  

And the hard truth is, it’s not their fault. Parents overdo it out of love, guilt, or fear of being seen as less progressive. What starts as a loving gesture often spirals into something unhealthy.  

 

But it’s never too late to recalibrate.  

As parents, you have the power to shape the way your teens see themselves and the world. You can show them what true confidence looks like. Teach them that the world is big and beautiful—and that while they’re a part of it, they’re not the only part.  

Let’s help them step down from their pedestals and walk alongside others—because that’s where true greatness begins.